- "What I hear you saying..."
- "You believe..."
- "As you see it..."
- "It seems to you..."
- "From your point of view..."
- "You feel..."
- "I'm picking up that you..."
- "You're... (identify the feeling: angry, sad, overjoyed, etc.)
- "From where you stand..."
Having trouble perceiving clearly? Try one of these phrases:
- "Could it be that..."
- I'm not sure if I'm with you, but..."
- "I wonder if..."
- "Let me see if I understand you, but..."
- This is what i think I hear you saying..."
- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but..."
- "What I guess I am hearing..."
Signs of Increasing Anxiety - Non Directed:
- Toe Tapping
- Finger Tapping
- Hair Pulling or Twirling
- Leg Jiggling
- Clenching Fists
- Clenching Jaw
- Curling or Moving Lips
- Squirming in Seat
Signs of Increasing Anxiety - Directed:
- Sarcasm
- Refusal
- Posturing with arms and legs in threatening pose
- Tone of voice changes
- Name calling
- Questioning
- Speed of talking changes
- Standing instead of sitting
Mediator Responses:
- Provide support through listening.
- Conduct a visual check of safety risks.
- Model coping strategies.
- Use tone control.
- Continue to provide support when appropriate.
- Adjust chair at slight angle to disputants
- Provide appropriate supportive limit setting
- if rule violations continue or if a mediator feels uncomfortable, then call a time out. Exit the room separately using furniture and walls for safe barriers.
Signs of Verbal Acting out include name calling, intimidating, threatening, demanding.
Signs of Physical Acing out include hitting, kicking, pulling, clawing, biting, grabbing, throwing objects.
Mediator Responses:
- Provide firm and immediate limit setting.
- When tensions are high or the risk of physical acting out is increased, you may call a time out.
- Do not attempt to pull disputants a part.
- Call for help or remove potentially dangerous objects in the room.
- Observe which disputant is "losing." When activity momentarily subsides, call "losing" disputant's name and give firm command to leave the room.
